Moving On and Letting Go
by crazykelly101
Summary: Audra Mackenzie doesn't have the greatest track record with men in her life. Now a single mother, she's struggling to cope with an abusive ex, and her father, who abandoned her when she was 10. Until, a certain FBI agent swoops in to save the day. Will she be able to let go of her pain and insecurities? Will he be able to move on from losing the love of his life only a year ago?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters! Only thing I own are my OC's (original characters!)**

* * *

**Audra's POV**

"Michael, get out now!" I said sternly, but quietly, trying to keep my voice down as to not disturb the neighbors, "I'm serious."

"I just want us to be together again," Michael slurred, drunk as he usually was when he came to my apartment.

"It's over Michael," I sighed, "You need to accept that and move on."

"No," he growled, stepping forward and grabbing my wrists, "It's not over until I say it's over. Just because you have a piece of paper all signed by a fancy judge, that doesn't mean that it's over."

"Michael, stop," I cried, "You're hurting me."

"I don't want to hurt you baby," he cooed, but his grip tightened, "I just want us to be together. I miss you."

"Michael, it won't work," I tried to explain, "It never worked."

* * *

With that, he loosened his grip on one of my wrists, only to bring his hand to slap me in the face, making me cry out and fall to the floor, where he proceeded to kick me in the ribs. I screamed, hoping that someone would hear me. And then, Michael was on top of me, shaking me, and yelling in my face.

Out of nowhere, the door burst in and Michael was yanked off of me. As I looked over, I saw that a muscular man with mocha colored skin was restraining him. I tried to sit up, pain shooting through my whole body, when I was assisted by an unknown man. I turned around to face this mystery man, and I was met by a pair of dark brown eyes that were warm and inviting. A small smile was on his face as our eyes met.

"Who the hell are you?" Michael shouted, tugging to get away from the man who was holding onto him.

"Michael, keep your voice down," I pleaded, tears forming in my eyes as the mystery man helped me up.

"I'm Derek Morgan and this is Dr. Spencer Reid," the mocha-skinned man explained, "We're FBI agents."

"Well, if you don't mind," Michael said, finally pulling out of Morgan's grasp, "My wife and I were having a discussion."

"Ex-wife," I corrected him, receiving an evil glare when those words left my lips.

"Sir, that was called domestic violence," Agent Morgan said, "Also known as battery or assault. We're going to have to call the police."

"Please don't," I begged, "Can't we just sit down and talk about this?"

"Ma'am are you sure?" Spencer asked, "Do you want to press charges? Or file a complaint?"

I sat down on the loveseat, Spencer sitting next to me protectively as Derek and Michael sat on the couch.

* * *

"Now, what happened?" Derek asked.

"I just came over to talk," Michael sneered, "I want my wife to come home, but she hasn't accepted my offer."

"Michael, we've been divorced for a year and half," I stated, "If I wanted to come back, I would have already."

"You bitch!" Michael screamed, standing up, "Audra, I'm just trying to…!"

A loud cry erupted, and I sighed, standing up, "Look what you did! Are you happy now? You woke her up!"

Michael rolled his eyes and sat back down on the couch, hands rubbing his temples.

"Excuse me," I said, walking out of the living room, pain still shooting through my body.

* * *

**Spencer's POV**

What had started off as an interview with a victim's best friend had turned into rescuing a woman from a violent attack given by her husband. As we walked up to the best friend's apartment, we heard loud shouting from the apartment next door, and when we heard screams of pain, we jumped into action. Derek kicked in the door and pulled the man, who was noticeably drunk, off of the woman. I instinctively ran to help her, and when my eyes met her beautiful blue ones, I was speechless. She was one of the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

After learning that this man, Michael, was this woman, Audra's, ex-husband, a cry interrupted our meeting. Audra, angry that Michael had caused this, left and walked out, returning with a small infant girl, with light brown hair and her mother's bright blue eyes. She nuzzled into her mother's side, obviously not sure of these new people in her home.

"Sorry about that," Audra apologized, setting the baby on a blanket on the floor, where she proceeded to crawl around, stopping when she reached the feet of Michael.

"Hey Lily," he smiled, reaching out his arms to pick her up.

This didn't please the little girl, who proceeded to cry, scream, and crawl away back to her mother, who picked her up and sat her on her lap.

"Mamamamamama," the girl babbled, sucking on Audra's necklace.

"You've turned her against me," Michael sternly said, "Against her own father."

"I would hardly call you her father Michael," Audra countered, "Maybe if you spent more time with her and didn't just drop her off at our mother's on your weekends, she would know you better and feel more comfortable with you."

"Don't get sassy with me," Michael continued, "I'm a very busy man. I don't have the luxury of staying home all day like you do."

"For your information, I never get a break," Audra replied, trying not to speak angrily in front of the baby, "I have clients come here so I don't have to put Lily in daycare. My boss is kind enough to let me be an independent part of the firm. I do whatever it takes for her. Because that's what it's all about Michael. It's all about Lily and her well-being. You need to grow up and take responsibility for once in your life."

"Whatever Audra," Michael shook his head, "You don't know what kind of power I have over you. I could ruin your life. I could take Lily away from you right now if I wanted to."

"Could you please call the police now?" Audra asked, turning to me, "I want to press charges."

* * *

"You're making a mistake Audra," Michael insisted, as Agent Morgan pulled his phone out and called for backup, "I'm going to post bail and be out of here before you can even breathe a sigh of relief. Just because you have your cushy accounting job doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want. I will destroy everything you care about, mark my words."

Soon enough, the cops had come and arrested Michael. Photos were taken of Audra's injuries and her statement was also taken. They led him out, something I was glad to see. How could this man do this to her?

"You okay?" I asked her as she sat on the porch swing, Lily on her lap, now asleep.

"Did they take your statement already?" Audra asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, they did," I replied, "But I want to know how you are."

"I'm fine," she insisted, "I just wish Lily didn't have to hear all of that. I know it's not good for her."

"Studies show that babies are aware of parental conflicts and those conflicts can affect how the infants' brains handle stress and emotion," I babbled on, regretting what I said when I saw the look of shock on Audra's face, "But I'm sure she will be fine. Minimal exposure decreases the chances."

"Thank you Dr. Reid," she smiled, "For everything."

"Please, call me Spencer," I said, surprised at how easily I came to warm up to her.

"Well, it looks like you have to go," she said, gesturing towards Morgan, who was waving me over, pointing at his watch, "And so do I. They want me to go to the hospital to be checked out."

"Well, here's my number," I said, handing her a card with my name and cell phone number on it, "In case something else happens and you're in need of my assistance."

"Of course," Audra replied, taking the card, "Thank you again. And if you ever need an accountant, here's my card."

"It's my job," I smiled, taking her card and proceeding to follow Morgan out of the apartment and back to our original destination, interviewing the best friend of a woman who'd been strangled two days before.

* * *

After the interview, we got into the SUV and began the drive back to Quantico, my thoughts not wandering away from Audra, which I felt guilty about, because of her. Maeve. It had only been a year since Maeve had...and I still wasn't over it. I read the Thomas Merton quote that she had written in the book everyday. I kept a picture of her tucked away in my desk, only looking at it when I was sure the team wasn't hovering. I visited her grave whenever I had free time, going to talk to her about anything and everything.

"So Pretty Boy," Morgan said, jolting me out of my daydreaming, "When do you think she'll call you?"

"Who?" I questioned.

"Audra," Morgan smiled, "She was totally into you."

"Morgan, she's a victim," I reminded him, "We're not supposed to get close to the victims, you know that. Remember Tamara Barnes?"

"Reid, we went for a drink, and she turned out to be not the right girl for me," Morgan said, "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't go for Audra. Man, she is a looker."

"But she has Lily," I replied, remembering the adorable little girl.

"Who needs an actual father figure," Morgan pointed out, "Doesn't look like she has anything close to that right now. Just promise me Reid, that you'll actually call her?"

"Morgan, I can't," I hesitated, "Not after Maeve."

Even saying her name got me emotional, quickly making me turn to look out the window.

"Believe me, Pretty Boy, I know how it feels to watch someone you love be taken away right in front of you," Morgan responded, "But she wouldn't want you to be alone for the rest of your life and you know that. I know that you do."

* * *

As we returned to the office, I toyed with Audra's card in my hand, reading it as I sat at my desk.

_**Cherry, Bekaert & Holland LLP**_

_**Audra Mackenzie**_

_**Independent Accountant**_

_**978-4573**_

I looked to see the rest of the team, busy working on the case. I decided, after this case, I would call her. Unless another case came up.

_Don't make excuses Spencer_, I heard Maeve speaking in my head, _I'm not there anymore and I want you to be happy_.

* * *

_**Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. ~Victor Hugo, Les Miserables**_

* * *

**This idea came to me and I couldn't not write it! I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter of Moving On and Letting Go. Please review and let me know what you think!**

**My other stories are currently on hiatus, but I am trying to update as much as I can. Please be patient!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters! Only thing I own are my OC's (original characters!)

A/N: Hope you guys are enjoying this story! Please review, review, review!

* * *

Spencer's POV

Finally, after two weeks, I worked up the courage to call Audra. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I was going to say something.

I sat at my desk at work. Everyone was heading home for the weekend that Strauss had given us off, the first in a very long time. I picked up her card, my cell phone in hand, ready to dial the number when someone snatched it out of my hand.

"Reid, why are you calling an accountant?" Penelope asked, Derek, JJ, and Dave standing around her, looking at me strangely, "You're the one who helps me with my taxes."

"And mine," Dave replied.

"Mine too," JJ smiled coyly.

"And I hate to say it, but you help the whole BAU with their taxes Pretty Boy," Derek chimed in, making me turn ten shades of red, "This is the card for that accountant that we helped during that domestic assault when we went to interview Melanie Chandler's friend."

I hesitated, waiting for the sarcastic comments, but they didn't come.

"That's great Spence," JJ said, "Really it is. We'll leave you to it."

The three of them had to drag Penelope away from my desk, but, finally, I was alone, ready to make the call.

* * *

Audra's POV

Another long day. Balancing the needs of a nine month old and appointments with clients was hard, but I knew that staying home with Lily would be worth it in the long run. My last appointment for the day had just left, so I changed out of my skirt and blazer and into an oversized sweater and leggings. The early December weather was cold, colder than it had been in past years.

Just as I got Lily down for her nap, my phone rang. I quietly shut her closed her bedroom door, baby monitor in hand, and answered it, going to sit on the couch.

"Audra Mackenzie," I said, releasing my long blonde hair from it's prison of a bun, letting it tumble down.

"Audra, this is Dr. Reid, uh, I mean, Spencer," he replied nervously, stuttering, "From a few weeks ago."

"Oh Spencer, of course," I smiled, thinking about his warm brown eyes.

"I was wondering, well you said if I ever needed an accountant and…" he paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I wanted to know if I could make an appointment to make sure my taxes were in order."

"Yeah, I would love to look at you," I said, kicking myself when I realized my slip of the tongue, "I mean, your taxes. I would love to look at your taxes. Would tomorrow work? Lily takes a nap at around one."

"That sounds perfect," Spencer replied, "I'll see you then. Thanks Audra."

"Goodbye Spencer," I smiled as I hung up the phone, weirdly feeling nervous about seeing him again.

* * *

Spencer's POV

At a few minutes to one, I found myself standing outside Audra's door, afraid to knock. I nervously adjusted my blue and yellow plaid shirt and grey sweater vest. Finally after what felt like forever, I knocked on the door.

* * *

Audra's POV

I had just fallen asleep when I heard a knock on the door. Groggy and confused, I shuffled to the front door, and without thinking, opened it, revealing Spencer standing on the other side, a file box in his hands. My eyes widened, as I remembered what I looked like. My hair was falling out of its ponytail, and I was wearing an old ratty sweatshirt and yoga pants.

"Oh my gosh Spencer," I said, my mouth open, "I totally forgot about our meeting."

"I can come back another time," Spencer replied, turning away, but I stopped him. Normally, I would've let him walk away, but I was feeling impulsive today.

"No, come in," I urged, and he did, as I led him to the small spare bedroom that I had converted into my office, "Just give me a few minutes to change."

* * *

I walked until I reached the hallway, running into my room and shutting the door, rifling through my closet for a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a long sleeved burgundy top, and a tan and burgundy floral print infinity scarf. I hurried into the bathroom, brushing my hair, and simultaneously applying a minimal amount of makeup.

Ten minutes later, I walked back into my office, smiling at Spencer as I sat behind my desk, opening the box he'd brought and diving right in.

"I am so sorry about that," I apologized as I looked through his income statements, "It was a rough night. Lily had a fever and she was teething, so I was up all night with her. I just got her to sleep a few minutes ago."

"Oh, no problem," Spencer smiled, "I'm just glad you could see me on such short notice."

"Well, the firm doesn't give me too many appointments a day," I explained, "They're really understanding about my situation with Lily."

* * *

Spencer's POV

An hour later, Audra finally put the last file into the stack, looking over at me with a strange look in her eye.

"Everything seems great," she said, "Perfect in fact. Are you secretly a math genius?"

I felt my face begin to warm, knowing that I was blushing, "No, I just have doctorate degrees in Mathematics, Chemistry, and Engineering as well as Bachelor's Degrees in Psychology, Sociology, and Philosophy."

Her eyes widened, shock appearing on her face, "And I thought a bachelor's degree in accounting was hard."

"It's really not as much as it sounds," I tried to brush it off.

"No, it's a lot," Audra smiled, "You're an FBI agent. You save lives every day. You saved mine."

"I'm not sure about that," I wavered.

"No, I know Michael," she continued, "When he's drunk, he's unpredictable. That's why I'm scared to send Lily with him on his weekends. Even if him and his parents need her for the publicity."

"Publicity?" I questioned, looking at her.

"You didn't recognize him did you?" Audra asked, rolling her eyes, "Does the name Clayborne sound familiar?"

I thought for a minute, not recognizing the name right away, but when I did, she could tell.

"Yep, I married the President of the United States' son," Audra smiled, "But when I was dating Michael, his father was a senator. Let's just say, I've been in a lot of gossip magazines over the years."

* * *

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, "I'm actually a very good listener."

She smiled, "Normally, I wouldn't tell someone I just met my life story, but I strangely feel so comfortable talking to you."

"I feel the same way," I shyly replied, not feeling this comfortable talking to someone since...Maeve.

"I met Michael when I was twenty," she began, "I was in college and he was the typical trust fund party kid. He got whatever he wanted and he was the popular guy that every girl liked, which was why I thought it was crazy that he liked me: the nerdy accounting major."

"I can see why he did," I replied, not realizing what I said until after I said it.

"Anyway, it was a whirlwind romance," Audra continued, "We got married when I was twenty-three and we decided that we wanted to have a family right away. But, things weren't in the cards I guess. Four years of infertility can really tear apart a marriage. Especially if it's featured in all the gossip magazines.

* * *

**'Is Michael Clayborne Ever Going to Become a Father?'**

**'Audra Clayborne-2 More Negative Pregnancy Tests This Month.'**

**'Are the Newlywed Clayborne's Barren?'**

* * *

"They got pretty nasty," Audra said, "And the pressure from the media and his family ultimately became too much. I filed for divorce and a month after it was finalized, I found out I was pregnant. Michael immediately wanted to get back together, but I had a feeling that it would be better for us to coparent our baby."

"And he didn't like that idea?" I assumed, causing her to shake her head.

"Not at all," she replied, "His family threatened to sue me. His father had just won the election and they said I was ruining their family's name. Once the tabloids got ahold of the divorce and my pregnancy, they had a field day."

* * *

**'Clayborne SPLIT: What drove them to divorce?'**

**'Guess Who's Single and Expecting? Who is the Father of Audra's Baby?'**

**'President's Daughter-In-Law Moves Into Own Place: Gets Ready for Baby Alone.'**

* * *

"The funny thing is," Audra smiled, "I kept all of those magazines. I wanted the stupid paparazzi to know that I was better than them. I've had some low points in my life, but Lily has changed everything, for the better, no matter what Michael and his family say."

"So," I began, "If you don't mind me asking, did you give Lily his last name or yours?"

"That was another thing that his family threatened to sue about," she grimaced, "His mother told me that if I didn't give her his name, there wouldn't be a trust fund for her and they would ruin my life. I figured that I would save myself all the stress and grief and just do it. It hasn't hurt her yet."

"You're doing a really good job with her from what I've seen," I smiled, as my phone began to buzz wildly, "Excuse me."

"Of course," she replied, as I got up to answer my phone.

* * *

Audra's POV

I had just told my entire life story to a man that I had only met once before. But, strangely, I felt so comfortable talking to Spencer. It felt like I was talking to an old friend. Something about him was different than I was used to in men. As he got up and left the room to answer his phone, I heard Lily start to fuss in her room. I groaned and went into her room, hearing her babble to herself, her face lighting up when she saw me.

"Hey Lily Belle," I smiled, tickling her stomach, which made her giggle, "Someone's in a better mood aren't they?"

I reached into her crib and picked her up, loving the way she clung to me protectively. I walked back into my office, but, upon not seeing Spencer, I followed the sound of his voice into the kitchen, where he was still on the phone.

"No Morgan, I didn't ask her on a date," he said into the phone, his back facing me, "No, I'm not going to. I just met her Morgan, I'm not you. I can't just ask a girl on a date. Not after...okay. Well, the FBI ball is coming up and I don't have a date, but I never do. I always go alone and watch everyone else dance. It's my thing. Alright, alright. I'll think about it. I have to go. She's probably wondering where I went. Goodbye Morgan."

He turned around, his eyes widening when he saw me, holding a still sleepy Lily in my arms, her head on my shoulder.

"Did you…?" he began, but I nodded before he could finish.

"Yeah, on accident," I replied, walking towards him, "I am so sorry. That was incredibly rude. Your friend Morgan sounds pretty intimidating."

"He's not that bad," Spencer responded, "He's just a big ladies' man and he's always encouraging me to go on dates. He actually thought this was a date."

* * *

"My idea of a date is not me doing a guy's taxes and then telling him my drama-filled life story," I smiled, shock filling me when Lily reached out her arms toward Spencer, babbling away, wanting to go to him.

I looked at him, and the shock had transferred to his face, "I'm sorry. She usually doesn't like strangers."

"Oh no, it's fine," he stammered in reply, hesitantly taking her from me, as she began to blow raspberries, her favorite thing to do lately.

"You've obviously had some experience," I laughed, "Do you have kids?"

"No, just my godson Henry," Spencer answered, "He's almost five and I babysit him sometimes."

Lily proceeded to blow raspberries and clap her hands together, laughing when Spencer made funny faces, which made me laugh too. All too soon, though, the fun came to an end when Spencer's demeanor totally changed.

* * *

"I should probably get going," he reluctantly said, "Goodbye Lily."

He handed her back to me, which she did not like at all, tears welling in her eyes, her bottom lip trembling.

"Maybe we can get together for coffee or something?" I asked, as Spencer rushed to the door, his box in tow.

"I don't know," Spencer replied, "I'm really busy with cases, but I'll call you."

He left, shutting the door behind him, leaving me standing in the kitchen with a crying baby and myself tearing up as well. I'd just been blown off. Everyone knows that when a guy says I'll call you, they don't mean it.

I knew that it had been too good to be true. Knight in shining armor saves the damsel in distress, finds out the damsel has a daughter, finds out the damsel's drama filled background, then flees in terror.

I sighed, feeding Lily her bottle which helped her to settle down enough that I could place her back in her crib for the night. I spent the rest of my night sitting on the couch, a large box at my feet.

* * *

I reached into the box, pulling out the magazine that was on top.

_**Presidential Candidate's Son Engaged!**_

_Michael Clayborne, son of Matthew Clayborne, Virginia Senator and presidential candidate, has recently proposed to his girlfriend of three years Audra Mackenzie. The two met while attending college and plan to wed in January of this year. When asked about their plans for the future, the two answered that they plan on having children right away._

* * *

I set the magazine next to me and picked up the next one.

_**No Baby For the Clayborne's?**_

_First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...nothing. At least that's the story for Michael Clayborne and wife Audra, who have been married for four years, and still no bun in the oven. When they became engaged, they told reporters that they planned on having a family right away. Wonder what's keeping them?_

* * *

That magazine joined the other next to me, as I pulled out the next one.

_**It's Over! Clayborne's SPLIT!**_

_Michael Clayborne and wife Audra have officially separated and are in the process of a divorce, our inside source tells us. Fertility issues are one of the main causes of this split, another source tells us. So, who do you think is the problem? Are Michael's fishies not good swimmers? Or is Audra barren?_

* * *

The magazine at the very bottom was from when the paparazzi realized I was pregnant.

_**AUDRA IS PREGNANT!**_

_Audra Mackenzie (formerly Clayborne) had her divorce from Michael Clayborne finalized two months ago, and is now sporting a small baby bump. Who is the father? Was the cause for their divorce her unfaithfulness? Whatever it may be, Audra's pregnant and Michael isn't too happy. The two were spotted arguing outside Mackenzie's apartment a few days ago, and it looked pretty heated to our reporters on scene._

* * *

I had stacks and stacks of trashy magazines just like this. Most of them claimed that I had had an affair and Michael had left me when he found out I was pregnant with someone else's child. Ridiculous, I know, since he was the only serious relationship I had ever been in. I threw the magazines back into the box and placed it back into my closet where it had sat since I moved into this place a year and a half ago.

* * *

We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths" ~ Walt Disney

* * *

**This idea came to me and I couldn't not write it! I hope you all enjoyed the second chapter of Moving On and Letting Go. Please review and let me know what you think!**

**My other stories are currently on hiatus, but I am trying to update as much as I can. Please be patient!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters! Only thing I own are my OC's (original characters!)**

**A/N: Hope you guys are enjoying this story! Please review, review, review!**

* * *

**Audra's POV**

It had been two weeks since Spencer had run out of my apartment. I had filled my time with extra appointments and more time with Lily. My time had also been spent with my friend from a single mother's support group that I had joined right after Lily was born, Kate, and her daughter Aria who just so happened to be the same age as Lily.

Today, Kate and I were trying to tackle grocery shopping with the girls, an idea that wasn't going over so well with them. They were tired, cranky, and teething, a lethal combination in the mom handbook. So, we were trying to get everything we needed as quickly as possible. As we turned down the pasta aisle, my cart ran into someone else's, causing Lily to scream even louder, making me even more embarrassed.

I became more embarrassed, however, when I saw that the person holding onto that shopping cart was Spencer. I quickly tucked my head and mumbled an apology, turning to run away just like he had, when his hand reached out to touch my arm.

* * *

"Audra, I've been meaning to call," Spencer said, a pleading sad look in his eyes, "I feel bad just leaving like I did without giving you an explanation."

"Really Spencer, you're a busy person with a busy life," I replied, "It's not a big deal."

"Ha-hem," Kate cleared her throat.

"Spencer, this is my friend Kate Lennox," I reluctantly introduced, "Kate, this is Spencer Reid."

"The guy who saved you from the devil," Kate smiled, "It's so nice to meet you."

"Kate, I asked you not to call him that," I whined slightly.

"It's not like you owe him any favors Audra," Kate responded, "Not after everything he's put you through."

"We should go," I quickly said, turning the cart around, Lily's screams now quieting into whimpers.

"There is one thing I wanted to ask you," Spencer nervously called out, just as I had reached the end of the aisle.

I reluctantly stopped, turning around as Lily tugged on my sweater, pulling it into her mouth as my a strand of my hair fell out of my ponytail and into my face.

"There's the FBI Winter ball in a few weeks and I never have a date," Spencer began, stammering, trying to find the words, "The team always makes fun of me and I was wondering, it could be fun, and I know you're probably already busy but if you aren't, maybe you would possibly want to…"

"Spencer," I cut him off, "It sounds like a lot of fun, but I would have to find a sitter for Lily and.."

"I can watch her," Kate popped in, cutting me off as I turned to glare at her, "Now, I'm sure you two can talk more about this later, because these two little girls want to go home."

"I'll call you," I turned back to Spencer, a small smile appearing on my face when our eyes met again, "Thanks."

* * *

**Spencer's POV**

After Audra had left, my phone had rang, a call from Garcia letting me know that we had gotten a case. I quickly checked out, took my groceries home, and rushed to the BAU. As I walked in, the last one, everyone looked at me.

Garcia then told us about three young girls, all from the same town, who had gone missing with six months of each other, all found displayed in very public, high-traffic places. Once Hotch said the magic words, "Wheels up in twenty," we were all up and back to our desks, where I was immediately met by JJ, Derek, and Garcia.

"So, Spence," JJ began, "Any particular reason why you were late today?"

"I was grocery shopping," I managed to spit out, knowing that my face was turning a bit red as I spoke the words.

"Is that all you were doing Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked, waggling his eyebrows at me.

I opened my mouth, ready to tell them about Audra, but I was interrupted by the approach of Dave.

"What's with all the commotion?" he smiled, "Sorry to break up the excitement, but Hotch just got a call. Another girl just went missing. We're leaving now."

I took a deep breath, relieved that I wouldn't have to tell them. Seeing the surprise on their faces when I walked in with Audra would be well worth it.

* * *

**Audra's POV**

_Two weeks later…_

The day before Christmas Eve had me getting nervous. It was seven-thirty, a half hour before Spencer would come pick me up for the FBI ball, and I was freaking out. I looked in the mirror again, taking in my long red dress that emphasized my waist and had red and silver flower petal cap sleeves. My long blonde hair was curled, half of it left down, and the other half pinned up. Kate had done it, and although it might have been a little poofy for my taste, it actually looked really good.

For my makeup, I had done a smoky eye, and kept my lips a neutral color, not wanting to clash with the bold color of the dress. Silver sparkly heels adorned my feet and my silver clutch already had my essentials in it. However, this would be the first time I had gone out since having Lily nine (almost ten) months ago. She had become my world and all my focus went to her, not dating. I didn't even know if this was considered a date, although Kate assured me that it was. I spent so much time worrying that all too soon, the doorbell rang. Thankfully, Kate was in the living room and answered the door, Lily on one hip and Aria on the other.

"Looking sharp Dr. Reid," I heard her say, as he walked in and she shut the door.

* * *

Hurriedly, I grabbed my coat, stopping to look in the mirror one more time before walking out into the hallway, and into the living room. Both Spencer and Kate were looking at me, jaws dropped. I got that look that was like "What are you guys looking at me like that for?"

"You look incredible," he finally managed to stammer, helping me put my coat on like a true gentleman.

"Thank you," I smiled, taking in his tuxedo, "You don't look too bad yourself."

"Can you guys stop gawking at each other and get going?" Kate interrupted, "It's going to be Christmas if you guys don't leave soon."

We both laughed, and Spencer nervously placed his hand on the small of my back as we walked out the door.

* * *

Upon arriving at the location for the ball, a glitzy hotel, I became extremely nervous. I wouldn't know anyone here, besides Spencer and Derek, and even them I didn't know too well. I really began to second guess my coming when, after leaving my coat at coat check, I walked in and was the only one wearing red. Everyone else was in black and white, making me stand out like a sore thumb.

"Something you forgot to mention?" I whispered to Spencer as my arm linked through his to calm my nerves.

"I didn't know," he replied, "I'm sorry, maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

"No, we just have to make the best of it I guess," I smiled, "Where's your team? We've got something to prove now don't we Dr. Reid?"

* * *

**Spencer's POV**

She looked beautiful. When she walked out into her living room, my jaw dropped. Something inside me, all the pain and hurt from Maeve, seemed to disappear whenever I was around Audra.

Once we arrived at the party, and I realized that I had not been informed of the dress code, I felt really bad for Audra. But, she didn't seem to mind, and we walked right up to the BAU's table.

Everyone's eyes widened when they saw that, for the first year ever, I had a date.

"Everyone, this is Audra Mackenzie," I began, struggling to find the words, "Audra, this is Aaron Hotchner, Beth Clemmons, Jennifer Jareau, Will LaMontagne Jr., Penelope Garcia, David Rossi, Erin Strauss, and you already know Derek Morgan."

"It's nice to meet all of you," Audra smiled, but there eyes were still on her, or, rather, her dress, "I didn't get the black and white memo."

"You look exquisite," Rossi said, "Wish I didn't have to look like a penguin."

* * *

The night began to run smoothly. The team welcomed Audra in and conversation carried on without any awkward silence. Audra told everyone about Lily, but not about Michael, which I could understand. We danced and we drank and we danced and we drank. I was not a good dancer at all, but Audra, who had taken ballroom dance lessons, helped me out and made us look less stupid.

We were all seated at our tables, just having finished eating dinner, when the Director of the FBI stood up, and hit his fork on his glass, signalling for everyone that he had something to say.

"First of all, I would like to thank all of you for coming," he began, "This is always a great time of year. Second, I would like to acknowledge a team with an outstanding record. Come the end of this year, the BAU will have a 98% case closure rate, an FBI record. A toast to them and to all of us. Merry Christmas!"

Everyone clapped, as we, the humble members of the BAU tried to look invisible. We didn't like getting all the glory, we just love what we do.

* * *

All too soon, the night came to an end. Walking Audra to her door, I tried to find some words, any words at all. The only words that slipped out were, "So, what are you doing for Christmas?"

"Well, Michael gets Lily for Christmas Eve and I get her on Christmas Day," she began, "So we're probably going to just hang out. She's a bit too young to really appreciate opening presents so we will probably just stay warm in the apartment. What about you? Are you spending Christmas with family?"

"No, my mom, she lives in Las Vegas, and my father, well, anyway, I'll probably just be at home, reading," I replied.

Silence filled the air as I thanked Audra for coming with me and turned to walk away, when her voice stopped me.

* * *

"I was going to take Lily to go visit some friends of mine Christmas Day," Audra said, "Do you want to come with us? No one should be alone on Christmas."

"I don't want to intrude," I answered, my gloved hands now in the pockets of my trench coat.

"I'm absolutely sure they would love to see a new face," Audra smiled, "It will be fun, I promise."

_You were going to visit Maeve,_ I thought, about to reject her offer, when another thought came to my mind. _But you can go in the morning. The roads will be less crowded then._

"Okay," I replied, smiling now too, "I'll call you then?"

"You better," Audra called before walking into her apartment.

* * *

"People come, people go – they'll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past."~Nicholas Sparks, The Rescue

* * *

**_This idea came to me and I couldn't not write it! I hope you all enjoyed the third chapter of Moving On and Letting Go. Please review and let me know what you think!_**

**_My other stories are currently on hiatus, but I am trying to update as much as I can. Please be patient!_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters! Only thing I own are my OC's (original characters!)**

**A/N: Hope you guys are enjoying this story! Please review, review, review!**

* * *

**Audra's POV**

The morning of Christmas Eve, I took Lily and dropped her off at Michael's parents' house, the White House, which always ended up being a complicated and awkward process. Michael always was gone, entertaining whatever new girlfriend he had that week, so Lily was taken care of by his mother or the nanny that they employed. It really bothered me that he never spent much time with her, but I couldn't do much. His parents were already furious that I was pressing charges against him, so, of course, I gave Lily to the nanny and headed back home.

I obviously had no appointments for the day, so I spent my day wrapping presents, listening to Christmas music, and making Christmas cookies. It was always a tradition when I was growing up to make cookies on Christmas Eve and then deliver them to the neighbors. Well, it was until I was ten. That's when my dad left. My mom never would tell me why he left, but I never saw him again, and I still haven't ever seen him. It's been eighteen years. And I probably won't find out since my mom died a year ago. The one thing my dad does know is that I got married. Mrs. Clayborne made sure to find his address and send him an invitation, which he didn't accept, but he didn't know about the divorce or about Lily.

* * *

_Christmas Day_

Lily got dropped off early in the morning by Alena Clayborne, Michael's mother, which was a strange occurrence. She said a stern, quiet Merry Christmas before having her driver and security bring in all of Lily's presents.

I got dressed in a green sweater, skinny jeans, and my caramel colored boots, with my hair down and curled. Lily was dressed in red and white striped leggings, a red tutu, and a white long sleeved shirt with a Christmas tree on it. This being her first Christmas, I wanted it to be special.

I texted Spencer the address of where to meet us, grabbed my boxes full of presents, put them in the car, and then Lily and I were off.

* * *

**Spencer's POV**

Christmas morning, I woke up early, bundled up, grabbed the poinsettia I had bought last night, and drove to the cemetery.

Getting out of the car, I slowly walked to the grave I had visited more times than I could count in the past year. My footsteps were still frozen in the snow from my visit last week.

I wiped off some of the excess snow, revealing the etching on the slab of stone that I had memorized.

_Maeve Donovan_

_September 3, 1981- November 21, 2012_

_Beloved Daughter and Friend_

_Psalm 23:4_

The Bible verse that described Maeve perfectly. **_Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil._**

The memory of seeing her die haunted me every day. The nightmares came each and every night, which prompted me to visit Maeve's grave as often as I could.

"Merry Christmas," I said, "I remember you saying that you loved Christmas, and even more when you met me, because it's the time to be with the people that you care about. I guess things don't always turn out the way you want them to."

I kneeled down, my hand touching the cold stone, thinking if I should tell her about Audra, even if there wasn't much to tell.

"I met someone," I managed to say, "It's actually a long story."

So I sat down on the cold, hard ground and told her about Morgan and I saving Audra. I told her about Lily and Michael and about his dad being the President of the United States. I told her everything.

"I just really like spending time with them," I continued, "And Lily, she's adorable. Michael hardly ever sees her and it just makes me mad. I know what it's like to not have a dad around and I don't want that to happen to her."

I realized that I was basically telling Maeve that I wanted to be with Audra, which made my stomach turn, but then I heard her voice in my head.

"Spencer, I'm gone. I can't be there with you and I want you to be happy. I love you so much, which is why you should be with someone else. Don't lose her. She's perfect for you."

* * *

Dressed in a cream colored sweater and a red sweater vest later that morning, I drove to the address Audra had texted me, which turned out to be a nursing home just outside the city. I nervously walked in, relieved and a bit surprised when I saw Audra, holding Lily, was talking to a large group of elderly people. She smiled when she saw me, and waved me over.

"These are the friends you're visiting on Christmas?" I asked, looking at all of their smiling faces.

"My great grandma lives here," she said, "I started visiting her every week after Lily was born, and I saw that a lot of people here don't have family that visit. So I started staying longer and talking to all of them and I realized that they're all incredible people."

She took my hand and pulled me over to the small group of people, seated in wheelchairs or folding chairs.

"Birdie, everyone, this is my friend Dr. Spencer Reid," Audra introduced, "He came to visit you all today."

"You finally got yourself a man Audra?" one of the men said, "I thought you were all mine."

"He's not my boyfriend Sal," Audra smiled, "You know I wouldn't do that to you."

"Bir, Bir," Lily babbled.

"She learned how to say that just the other day when we were looking at pictures Birdie," Audra said, "And now that she sees you, she can't stop saying it."

* * *

We spent the next few hours eating Christmas cookies and opening the presents that Audra had brought for each of the nine residents. I had gone to the refreshment table one more time when I felt an arm grab mine and gently pull me into the hall. I was surprised to see that it was Audra's great grandma Birdie, walking with her cane well for a 95 year old woman.

"I need to talk to you young man," she stated, "You've obviously caught the eye of my Audra and I want to talk to you, as the only real family she has left."

"Birdie, Audra and I aren't," I began, but she cut me off.

"But you will be," she continued, "I can see it. Trust me. Audra doesn't let men into her life easily. Especially not after the damage her father and Michael did to her. She's a fragile girl, with a huge heart. Why else would she come visit a bunch of old coots like us?"

"I don't understand," I asked, rather confused.

"All I'm saying is don't blow it," Birdie said, as we both looked and saw Audra, holding Lily, both of them smiling and laughing, "Those two are my whole world and if you hurt them, I'll have to kill you. And that's a promise."

She hobbled away, but turned around, pointing her middle finger and index finger at her eyes and then at me, the universal "I'm watching you" sign.

* * *

After my encounter with Birdie, I performed a few impromptu magic tricks and then played a few intense games of chess with Sal, for whom Audra had gotten a new chess set. He was very good, and even beat me once. I learned that Sal had been a professor at Georgetown, in the Psychology department, before he retired. His wife died young, leaving him to raise their three boys, who all lived on the West Coast with their families and rarely visited.

After six hours at the nursing home, we said our goodbyes, and I followed Audra and Lily home, since it had started to snow and roads were starting to get slippery.

By the time we made it to their apartment, Lily had fallen asleep, and I carried her inside, following Audra to Lily's room and then handing her off, leaving to let Audra change her.

I stood in the living room, looking at the family photos that Audra had on the mantle of the fireplace. A recent picture of her and Lily in a large pile of leaves, another recent picture of Audra, Lily, and Birdie at the nursing home, and then one lone picture, sitting far from the others.

It was small, so I walked over closer and picked it up. It showed a small blonde girl, Audra, about nine or so, and a man. They shared the same blue eyes, and I realized that this was her father.

Just then, I heard a door quietly close, and Audra stepped into the living room, her eyes growing wide when she saw the photo in my hand.

"I'm sorry," I hurriedly said, placing the picture back in its exact previous position, "I should probably get going."

"No, Spencer, wait," Audra said quietly, "Please stay. Let me explain."

* * *

**Audra's POV**

Bringing Spencer to the home really brightened everyone's Christmas. He played a few Christmas songs on the piano while we all sang, and he talked to everyone, definitely not the same shy guy I had been expecting.

He followed me home while I was driving, since it had started to snow and the roads were slick, a true gentleman. After I put Lily to bed, I found Spencer in my living room, holding the photo of my father and me in his hand.

After he tried to bolt after seeing my facial reaction, I asked him to stay so I could explain, sitting next to him on the couch after grabbing the photo.

"This is my dad," I began, tearing up slightly at calling him that, "This picture was taken on my tenth birthday. He left a week later and I haven't heard from since. My mom wouldn't ever tell me why he left, and she died when I was eighteen. I went off to school, met Michael, and you already know that part of the story."

"Audra, I know what you went through," Spencer said, "My dad left my mom and me when I was a kid, and I didn't have any contact with him until about five years ago during a case, when I actually accused him of murder. Since then, I haven't talked to him. I just can't bring myself to pick up the phone after all the trouble he caused."

"Alena Clayborne, Michael's mother, she tracked him down, got his address, and sent him a wedding invitation. He didn't come. He doesn't know I got divorced and he doesn't know about Lily," I continued, "My mom got pregnant when she was 18. Her and my dad got married, a classic shotgun wedding. Ten years later, when my mom was the same age I am now, he left us and never looked back."

"Well, he should have," Spencer replied, "He's missing out on a lot."

"So is your dad," I said, "You're doing all of these amazing things and saving all of these people. He doesn't get to see you be a hero."

* * *

"So the only family you have now is Lily and Birdie?" he asked.

"Yeah, after my mom died, Birdie was all I had," I explained, "She took care of me, and now I feel like it's my responsibility to take care of her. She's a stubborn old lady. She doesn't let anything stop her. She's ninety-five going on fifty the way she acts. She causes a lot of trouble at the nursing home."

"She talked to me today," Spencer said, causing me to furrow my brow, "She pulled me into the hall and told me that if I ever hurt your or Lily that she would kill me."

"I wouldn't doubt it for a second," I smiled, "She's always been really protective of me. She didn't like Michael at all. She even told me that marrying him would be a mistake. The only good thing that came out of that marriage was Lily. I can't imagine life without her."

"She's really lucky to have you in her life," he replied.

"This isn't how I saw my life playing out," I looked up, trying to hold back the tears, "I didn't want my kids to have the same broken life that I did. But I started that cycle again. I guess marriages ending runs in my family."

"Don't say that," Spencer said, hesitantly putting his hand on top of mine, a look on his face that looked like one of pity, "You are a great mother. Michael doesn't deserve to be in your life after what he's done."

* * *

I looked into his eyes, knowing that I shouldn't be thinking about what I was thinking about. Kissing him. I knew I wasn't supposed to do it. I had promised myself that I wouldn't bring men into Lily's life when she was young, in case it didn't work out. I didn't want her (or me) to get attached and then have someone abruptly walk out on us like my dad had done so many years before.

My throat closed and I tried to swallow back my weakness, shutting my eyes and putting my head down, trying to stop the tears from coming.

"Thank you for coming today." It was a whisper but I meant it.

He didn't respond and I opened my eyes. Spencer was still lingering close. I could feel his breath on my chin. It took several seconds to collect myself and face what I knew had to be another look of pity. Something I dreaded. Something I didn't want to see from him. But this time, when I lifted my eyes to his, there was no pity. My body seemed to recognize it before I did and I struggled through shallow breathing and a puttering pulse. He was leaning closer and I thought I heard my name on his breath but I couldn't think, I couldn't be sure. I had to be daydreaming. No one could want to kiss me, a single mom with a crazy ex. But when his lips brushed over mine the denial faded.

* * *

After a few short seconds, I pulled away, looking into his eyes with uncertainty.

"Are you sure?" I asked, my voice quivering.

"All I know is that I really like spending time with you," he replied.

"I like spending time with you too," I answered, knowing that I was blushing, feeling like I was in high school again.

He took my hand as I walked him to the door, even though I wished he could stay. When we got to the door, I could tell he was reluctant to go to. He leaned in, I thought for another kiss, but instead, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in for a tight hug. Being in his arms made me feel safe, something I hadn't felt for a long time.

All too soon, a cry from down the hall broke us apart. I looked into his eyes, smiling.

"Good night," I said, biting my lip as he walked out, leaving me alone, with a crying baby in my apartment, but I knew that everything was going to be okay.

* * *

_**When I look in the mirror, I know I'm looking at someone who isn't sure she deserves to be loved at all." ― Nicholas Sparks, Dear John**_

**This idea came to me and I couldn't not write it! I hope you all enjoyed the fourth chapter of Moving On and Letting Go. Please review and let me know what you think!**

**My other stories are currently on hiatus, but I am trying to update as much as I can. Please be patient!**


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